Falling in love with the right person is one of the best feelings in the world. When you finally meet the person that’s your perfect match, your mind, your body, and your spirit are instantaneously flooded with positive emotions. It’s natural to have doubts and to wonder if there are signs your boyfriend is in love with you or concrete ways to tell your girlfriend loves you back. It’s easy to be afraid of loving someone who doesn’t love you back, and to be afraid of getting hurt.
How do you know if he is just playing with your feelings?
Everybody displays love differently, and words aren’t the only way they can show their feelings for you. In some cases, actions speak just as loud as words…
1. You don’t go out in public for dates
This is an especially big sign if the reason for it is that date nights at home are “more romantic.” He’s totally trying to play you by saying this.
In reality, he doesn’t want to take you out in public because he doesn’t want to risk you two running into any other girls he’s seeing. He’s just covering his own ass.
2. You never meet his friends
If you’re romantically involved with someone and the feelings are real, you meet each other’s friends. You get involved in one another’s lives. And if the guy you’re seeing isn’t doing that, he’s playing you.
Never meeting his friends just shows you that his friends might not even know about you. If he’s not telling his friends about you, does he truly have feelings for you? Probably not.
This means he’s just using you for something else entirely.
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3. He refuses to take it to the next level or even to his place
A player wants just to play. If you try to take it beyond the booty call or the late-night meet-up, he has all sorts of excuses to make himself unavailable.
He is unavailable because he makes himself available to all sorts of other women.
4. He flirts with other girls in front of you
Does he often flirt with other girls when you’re around? It’s because he can’t help himself.
He’s so used to doing it he forgets himself. It also keeps you on your toes and he knows you’re going to get jealous. This is definitely one of the ways how to tell if a guy is playing you.
5. He Doesn’t Make Time For You
What else do we have in the signs he’s playing you? Well… he won’t make time for you. You’ll see him, of course, but it’s always him seeing you when it’s convenient for him.
You’ll find that you’re often the one initiating the dates – or asking when you’ll see each other again. In fact, you wonder when you’d see each other again, if you didn’t say anything at all!
He’d still speak to you, keep you there (of course!) but it can sometimes seem like a battle to see him, like he’s not totally fussed either way and your feelings are a little one-sided.
When you do see each other then, it’s likely that you do the same sort of things – the things that he wants to do, the things that work for him. Whether you become like a bit of a booty call, or not, it’s still very much on his terms.
If someone makes a date to see you, they like you. But if they cancel, they try to show you that they don’t care and they’re in charge.
6. He blows hot and cold, He Doesn’t Make You Feel Secure.
If he does this, he’s playing you like a fiddle. Of course, in the beginning, he’s attentive and super nice, but suddenly, he switched.
Now, this could be that he wants to manipulate you or it could be that he’s no longer into you. Either way, it’s not in your favor to be with this guy because he’s playing games.
If he’s playing you, he’ll give you enough to make you into him, to make you start to fall for him even. He’ll hook you in. Then once he has, he’ll kind of hold you there – be a little hot and cold, keep you on your toes.
That’s why you often feel like you have to watch what you say, ask or do. He makes you feel good for the vast part of the time, but you also wonder – if you step out of line – if he’ll leave.
You don’t have to be perfect and no-one should expect you to be 24-7, especially in the early stages of dating and relationships when you’re still trying to work out what the two of you are and what the two of you are like.
7. He shields his phone from you
He has other people he’s seeing if he’s always hiding the phone from you. None of the conversations with his friends should ever be so private that he needs to stop you from seeing them all together.
He hides his phone because he has something to hide and that’s the fact that he’s playing you.
8. You only spend time together when it’s convenient for him
Basically, you only get together when he’s free and he expects you to change your plans to accommodate that.
He does this because he doesn’t have much time between all the people he’s seeing. This is also true because he doesn’t want to plan things too far in advance because he doesn’t know when he’s going to drop you.
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9. He makes vague excuses for his absences
Does he go missing for hours at a time and doesn’t text or anything? If so, he’s probably playing you and one way to know for sure is how he responds to your question about his absence.
If he just waves his hand and says he was “busy,” he’s probably playing you.
10. When you get mad, his response is only compliments
If you want to know how to tell if a guy really likes you or is just playing you, see how he takes arguments.
When you’re upset with him, does he try to understand where you’re coming from and fix it? Or does he just shower you with compliments? If it’s the latter, he’s playing you and trying to make you forget why you’re even mad.
Next up then, it’s those empty promises. That’s right – if he’s playing you, get used to disappointment, because this will become a pretty regular thing. You can’t take his word as truth and never really know when his intentions are pure. All he knows is he’s not quite feeling it as much as he’s leading you to believe.
That’s why he’s so inconsistent with his behaviour. He doesn’t know if he’s coming and going, because really, he doesn’t know how he’ll feel or what he’ll want to do from one day to the next.
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11. His phone blows up every two seconds
He is a very busy man. His phone is blowing up with all the girls he either lies to, keeps on the sidelines, or pissed off.
Our suggestion? Don’t become one of them. If the phone goes off all the time and he hides those notifications from you, something is going on… and it usually isn’t good.
12. He has a ton of “girlfriends” but they are “just friends”
At least that is what he tells you. Sure, guys have some friends that are girls, but if you have the impression they are more than just friends, listen to your inner voice.
A guy with a harem of girls instead of a group of guys probably is not sleeping alone when you aren’t with him.
Your time is valuable. More importantly, your love is valuable. People know this and yet, some of them still waste your time and toy with your feelings. They’re not good people but there’s no escaping that reality. Instead, you’ll just have to learn how to spot the signs.
What should you do?
Now you know how to tell if a guy is playing you, what should you do? Basically, you should cut your losses and go find someone who doesn’t play games.
If you’re not looking for anything serious and you’re pretty sure you’re not going to fall for him, by all means, have some fun. But, if you’re catching feelings or you already have, you need to wave goodbye for your own sanity. This type of guy will never change.
If you want to know how to tell if a guy is playing you, all you really need to do is take a step back and view his behavior from afar. Does he seem to genuinely care about you? If not, he’s totally playing you.
