‘Tis the season to be jolly, and also to binge watch all of your favorite Christmas movies. From the hopelessly romantic, to the hopelessly hopeful, to the unbearably funny, there’s something for everyone. What’s more, these movies are always manifesting the same values: family, friendship, love, kindness. They make our holiday season so much warmer and more wholesome. Not to mention the humor really lightens up our days.
Not convinced yet, check out these iconic quotes from some of the most iconic Christmas movies and judge them for yourself. Hopefully, you’ll get into the spirit and feel extra jolly!
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Funny Movie Quotes from Your Favorite Christmas Classics
1. Charlie Brown: “Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?”
— ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ (1965)
2. Scott Calvin: “Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we’re going to destroy our son’s delusions, I should be a part of it.”
— ‘The Santa Clause’ (1994)
3. The Conductor:”Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.”
— ‘Polar Express’ (2004)
4. Frank Cross: “It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be.”
— ‘Scrooged’ (1988)
5. Kevin McCallister: “Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.”
— ‘Home Alone’ (1990)
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6. Buddy: “I planned out our whole day. First we make snow angels for two hours, and then we’ll go ice skating, and then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie Dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we’ll snuggle.”
— ELF
7. Cindy Lou Who: “No one should be alone on Christmas.”
— How the Grinch Stole Christmas
8. Charlie Calvin: “Just because you can’t see something, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”
— The Santa Clause
9. Scott Calvin: “Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house, IN MY UNDERWEAR?”
— The Santa Clause
10. Clark Griswold: “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
— National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Related: 30 Love Actually Quotes to Fill Your Christmas with Love
11. Billy Mack: “I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.”
— Love Actually
12. Bob Wallace: “If you’re worried and you can’t sleep, count your blessings instead of sheep. Then you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.”
— White Christmas
13. Santa Claus: “Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart.”
— The Polar Express
14. Teddy: “Can’t you just wave your hand, and like, Jedi mindtrick the cops?”
Santa Claus: “I’m Santa Claus, Teddy, not Yoda.”
— ‘Christmas Chronicles’ (2018)
15. “There’s nobody dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.”
— ‘Home Alone 2: Lost In New York’.
16. Abby: “Thank you for trying to get me to like Christmas. I love that you love it. I’m just so content taking care of other people’s pets when they’re away for the holiday.”
— ‘The Happiest Season’ (2020)
17. Snow Miser: “So, Mrs. C., how’s your hubby?”
Mrs. Santa: “Not too good, Snowy, he’s got a bad cold.”
Snow Miser: “Aw, that’s a shame. He should’ve come to see me, I’d have given him a good one.”
— “The Year Without A Santa Claus” (1974)
18. Kiki: “I spend months picking out the perfect present for everyone. You know the only thing I get in return? Coupons, free back rubs.”
— ‘A Bad Moms Christmas’ (2017)
19. Ellen Griswold: “I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.”
— ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’ (1989)
20. The Grinch: “The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there-on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self-pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercise; 6:30, dinner with me – I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing…I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?”
— ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’ (2000)
Related: 31+ Food Quotes to Prep You for Your Big Christmas Dinner
21. Sam the Snowman: “Now don’t any of you worry your heads about Santa, Mrs. Claus will have him plenty fattened up before Christmas Eve. It’s always the same story.”
— ‘Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer’ (1964)
22. Mall Santa: “We’re not just doing this for us. We’re doing it for the kids. For every kid who ever sat on Santa’s lap. For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night. For every little boy who opens a package Christmas morning and finds clothes instead of toys. It breaks my heart.”
— ‘Jingle All The Way’ (1996)
23. Fred Gailey: “Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”
— ‘Miracle on 34th Street’
24. “My Charlie. My son Charlie? He’s on the naughty list? There’s gotta be a mistake.”
— ‘The Santa Clause 2’.
25. Fred Claus: “Nick, there’s been one thing that’s been eating at me since I’ve been here. That naughty-nice List that you got? There’s no naughty kids, Nick. They’re all good kids. But some of them are scared. And some of them don’t feel listened to. Some of them had some pretty tough breaks too. But every kid deserves a present on Christmas.”
— ‘Fred Claus’ (2007)
Related: 50 Christmas Quotes To Get You In The Mood For The Holiday
26. Ebenezer Scrooge: “Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.”
— ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’ (1992)
27. Sam the Snowman: “What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a talking snowman before?”
— Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer
28. “A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child.” — King Moonracer
— Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer
29. “This is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.”
— ‘Home Alone’.
30. “That’s what Christmas memories are made from, they’re not planned, they’re not scheduled, nobody puts them in their Blackberry, they just happen.”
—’Deck the Halls’.
Related: 30+ Quotes About Winter For Cozy Snowy Days
31. “There’s a certain magic that comes with the very first snow. For when the first snow is also a Christmas snow, well, something wonderful is bound to happen.”
— ‘Frosty the Snowman’.
32. “They can’t evict you on Christmas! Then you’d be ho-ho-homeless!”
— ‘Go’.
33. “It’s Christmas Eve. A time of mystery, expectations, who knows what might happen.”
— ‘The Nutcracker And The Four Realms’.
34. “Consider this A vacation, Santy. A reward. It’s your turn to take it easy.”
— ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’.
35. “We are very busy bringing joy to children. We don’t have time… for children.”
— ‘Rise Of The Guardians’.
36. “Christmas Day, indeed! Just another excuse for being lazy.”
— ‘Christmas Carol’.
37. Hans Gruber: “I Have A Machine Gun. Ho Ho Ho.”
— ‘Die Hard’ (1988)
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